Judah

There never fails to be negative feedback from my "transparent" posts about my children.  I've toned back my raw frustration, but it's just life.  It's the way things are.  Children are exhausting, and frustrating, incredible, strange and wonderful.  I was beside myself from the time that Elijah was 18 months or so and still am most days with the constant task of guiding in GENTLENESS.  Gentleness isn't something that comes naturally for me.  For some strange reason that dates back generations (this I will probably not ever go into) it's easier for me to be patient with Judah.  That being said:

Judah has thrown an entirely different rack of darts at me.  He's much more outright with his aggression, compared to his somewhat passive aggressive older brother.  He hits and screams and daily questions my authority as his mother.  The words escaping his precious little mouth are often words telling me off about something I've asked him to do or not to do.  If caught in the wrong mood for correction or guidance he's often running toward me to hit whatever body part of mine he can reach first in protest of correction or guidance.  He was as laid back a baby as I'd ever known (until Joel, of course) and I was doused in hope that he'd remain that way.  The fussyness and whining started around 15 months and I tried desperately to convince myself that he was just teething.  He may have been, but it didn't stop once those pearly whites escaped the confines of their prisons.
Lately, he breaks my heart.  He's been downright nasty to me.  He's still fed emotionally by cuddling and we do a mightly lot of it, but in the inbetween times it seems he's taken on the task of being as strongwilled, naughty and disrespectful as humanly possible for his tiny age.  I'm certain this is normal for this stage in human brain development, but it hurts my mommy heart so.  To use the common cliches, my heart swells, it melts, it beats because of him (not only him, of course).
I will not let up my guidance of him.  I've been called to raise men of faith and by the power that God has entrusted in me, I will fight to do so.  It will seem trivial, I'm sure, someday.  For right now, my heart longs for a joyful, compliant boy.  It will come.  I will pray.